Another reason is because I don't like public speaking and I know that if I teach, I am required, in one way or another, somewhere in my lifetime, to do public speaking. It doesn't have to be in front of a huge mass audience in a school's gymnasium campaigning for a rights movement (and while I refuse to speak about what rights I support and don't support or pertake it, I don't know if I could anyway) or just doing something that requires the school to get involved in some kind of school funded or spirited type of activity. Come again, that's probably for the staff who's willing to help students or get involved with student type of events. So yeah. Oh right. What was I say? I think I was randomly babbling alittle there. I guess I was going to say was something about public speaking. Right. Public speaking. So, the best grade that I got in a Speech class, was a C but on my speeches? A solid B. Phew. I wanted to pass that class so bad since I didn't want to retake it. You have no idea. But anyway, yes, that's how wonderful I am at speaking publicy and dealing with the masses. I cannot go and teach students even if I knew there was something they needed to learn and know. In honesty, I'm not good with speaking because every time I speak, I often feel that I have a hard time at condensing or being articulate with the words especially when I know I have somewhat of a hard time putting it all into a sentence or two together or at times, even, my words tend to get jumbled and mixed around so it can easily often puzzle others. I can try and ask question to somebody about a topic and they'll react with a baffled, "What?" considering that's happen to me often times. I don't know how the children, teens, or any adult would be able to handle me when I try to teach others something because I'd be a rambling and stumbling old hag. I know for a fact that I'm also kind of slow but not because I'm dumb or anything but I think it's because I'm slightly austic or I have a form of PTSD or post tramautic stress disorder, and I don't know about you but something about it, unless there's a miracle that can heal me or let me, I cannot teach. I can probably blab something I know about exceptionally well but often I know and have always felt like I need to educate myself more because I know things but I don't know how to explain things without having a computer or a word processor in front of me with tons of ways to paragraphing about what I want to convey to the masses as I often do think about lots of things for genuinely long periods of time. Sometimes that could take me to articulate probably in what? 5 years. Yeah.
I mean if I ever teach, I could possibly teach them about how to read and easy Kindergarterner stuff. Of course, otherwise, I don't see myself teaching anything unless God gave me that gift (and that's just what I believe that he would do for me, personally and in honesty) but so far I have no idea what gift it is because I don't know what I could ever teach. I'm not sure what my gift is even in life as I plan to become a writers like C.S. Lewis and J.D. Salinger. If I had to teach, I'd speak in the pages of story or book like all the great authors do (God, C.S. Lewis, Nathaniel Hawthorne, J.K. Rowling, William Faulkner, Ernest Hemingway, and are some examples I know of that are exposed and people know of) considering I feel like I do better also speaking online because I have a computer to help release that bundle of nerves around people in real life although it doesn't exactly get rid of how I can communicate better without something in front of my face in real life. These are just some of the reasons, that my parents should know or do know about now of why I cannot teach. I don't know if I can teach anything unless it's a small thing like tying shoelaces, riding a bike, doing some small gif tutorial, or even a few things or two about a game that I'm good at, or small things like that. I know I can work with those for certain but me, a teacher and me teaching anything apart from what I mentioned? Yeah. I don't think I can do it for sure. Maybe it's doubts casted in my train of thought right now but if I can and do ever teach something apart from life's easy lessons that I can teach a small children than maybe I'll eat up my words someday. That, and if I'm suddenly gifted with the ability to teach for now but for now, I doubt that I can teach let alone, feel confident enough to speak in front of an audience. I also wish I could have the courage to just that.
Teaching woes aside, I guess I like to mention that I have major plot bunnies scampering within my head but I'll save that for another day. I would like to point out that due to this, I made my writing journal which is scriptingbeauty
also known as my creative writing journal. I use it to not only write but plan out my ideas (usually) and go more in-depth with more of my fanfiction, original story ideas, and other things pertaining to that.So if you're ever interested in that, please go check out that writing journal of mine! I'd love it if you do and could because I put so much into that journal. Whenever I can, that is.EDIT:
Just thought I'd mention that I did an assignment for my online College Success Skills class (which is one of the easiest class I took and actually like because it's not only teaching one to be productive but also it's really useful too) and guess what? One of my classmates said that I could teach. Wait what? Teach me? Oh dear goodness. I don't know why I'm mentioning this but I found it quite perculier though. Oh! This was also after I checked the discussion board online (since we have it for online classes). Whoa. Is that a sign or coincidence? Either way, I'm feeling slightly pleased but also confused about this. Whoa. Just whoa.
So I was in the middle of writing of something regarding my stories one fine day when my dad exclaims out loud, "Yay, I can teach!" because, during then, he was watching Obama's Special Report (basically one of his many speeches) about making jobs for people in America. Teachers was one of the jobs that he had been explaining and talking about. Of course, I'm not sure if my dad can be a teacher but I don't know if I should say that considering he's taught many important things to me like history (when he's not being bias), English (more like persuasive writing) to Sex Ed so I could see him easily being one, specifically one with dealing with computers and possibly English or History because he tends to talk not only about the news but also the past and says things that I find would be particuarly interesting in a classroom setting. I am confident that he could probably work with something pertain computers since he's been working with Computers and IT for like about 25 years which is quite alot for somebody like him. It's also something I admired too! So I'm all for it if he does teach elementary-high schoolers, a computer job. So then my parents were discussing about my dad being a teacher (okay, that I can deal with) so then I hear my mom saying, "You can teach [insert my name here]." Wait what? My answer was something between the lines of: "No, I can't." because I found it to be true. I also thought she was kidding when she said those words or at least between the lines of that simply because if there's one thing I am confident about, it is the fact that I cannot nor do I know how to teach people things. Okay, fine, not really teach but teach a subject is what I mean by teaching things. I don't know where she gets the fact that I can be a teacher or even teach other people things apart from my words of wisdom and me trying to sort out other people's problem. I tell her that and she's like, "Why not?" and I simply told her the answer that is the best that I could come up with the time: "Because I'm not good at teaching." I mean those were the only words that I can think up of when she asked me. I don't know where or how or why she suggested that I teach. It's not that I'm unappreciative that she brought it up or anything. So please don't misunderstand me to do just that. In honesty, I am appreciative that she did actually. It's just I don't know what I'd teach even considering I'm not sure if I'm an expertise in anything other than feeling like a background character still trying to sort out through life's journey and deal with unpleasant things like. I'm not good at explaining, summarizing, paraphasizing, emphazing, and doing all of those things that a teacher could do. That, and I have to make sure I can research and try to think alot before I can get into my assignments and turning it in or something like that. So there's one reason that I cannot and never thought of myself as a teacher.